I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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