carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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