Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
