We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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