I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
