none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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