Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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