Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
