that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
