'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
