i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
