I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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