Do you still have your period?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize