they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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