Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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