so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
