how can u be prego again
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
