Everything about him screamed your future.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
