YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize