D3 body, D1 cock
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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