fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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