YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
