her facebook's as public as her vagina
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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