If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
