I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
