Those balls look pretty dangerous.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
