It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
