In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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