Swine flu. Run for my life!
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize