Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
