Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
