Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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