The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
its not stalking. its research.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
