I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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