I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
