so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
no you cant smoke seaweed
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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