I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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