The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
