On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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