U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
