i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
