Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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