So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
