where does the pee come out of this thing
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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