I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
