no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
