My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
