You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
