Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
