1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
