We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
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