this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
i've created a new STD.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
