did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i already hear my dad disowning me
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
