I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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