Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
