How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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