I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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