tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
