we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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