Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
time to smoke my breakfast
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just blew my weed a kiss
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
