Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
