Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
